deepundergroundpoetry.com
outbound
i've outloved my beloved
trying to outlove me
but my hateful foe
has far outhated me
i’ve outrun my outrunner
trying to outrun me
but my tired ancestor
has outtired me
i’ve outjested the jester
trying to outjest me
now my eyes are dry
and he’s outcrying me
i’ve outsmarted my rival
trying to outsmart me
for his idiocy
has far outwitted mine
i’ve outforgiven debtors
for outexploiting me
now i’m out of patience
and they’re out of luck…
© Copyright 2019 April 29
by Clyve A. Bowen♫
trying to outlove me
but my hateful foe
has far outhated me
i’ve outrun my outrunner
trying to outrun me
but my tired ancestor
has outtired me
i’ve outjested the jester
trying to outjest me
now my eyes are dry
and he’s outcrying me
i’ve outsmarted my rival
trying to outsmart me
for his idiocy
has far outwitted mine
i’ve outforgiven debtors
for outexploiting me
now i’m out of patience
and they’re out of luck…
© Copyright 2019 April 29
by Clyve A. Bowen♫
Published 30th Apr 2019
Author's Note
View visual (copy/paste):
http://mydo.cx/ZDk0YWJl
http://mydo.cx/ZDk0YWJl
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
30th Apr 2019 7:33am
outlove <<-------- an interesting little used word.
Loved the spill and the flow
in the graphic i don't think You need the animals
but then that's just me.
nice work, Brother
Loved the spill and the flow
in the graphic i don't think You need the animals
but then that's just me.
nice work, Brother
30th Apr 2019 4:29pm
Thank you, Tallen; I really appreciate your insight about the animals. You think its just you -- but it's judgement based on experience.
Having said that, here's my reason for keeping the creatures:
The scene shows a complete reversal of nature, with the "brave" lion cowering in the tree and the li'l bird preying from the ground. The lion has forgotten its courage and the bird its wings -- and both have forgotten who chases whom.
To me, that's very funny.
Sincerely
cab
Having said that, here's my reason for keeping the creatures:
The scene shows a complete reversal of nature, with the "brave" lion cowering in the tree and the li'l bird preying from the ground. The lion has forgotten its courage and the bird its wings -- and both have forgotten who chases whom.
To me, that's very funny.
Sincerely
cab
30th Apr 2019 4:34pm
I get Your reasons.
That bird, though, looks like a raven or crow.
Maybe replace with an erne?
That bird, though, looks like a raven or crow.
Maybe replace with an erne?
30th Apr 2019 5:19pm
O no, Tallen: that would defeat my purpose.
A powerful bird of prey (such as the erne or sea eagle) would justify a lion (especially if it has been hurt) scampering for refuge.
The elusion I wanted to create is of a "harmless" bird giving us a "hunter hunted" scenario. False pride/arrogance, greed, bullying, unfair advantage, and loudmouthedness are among the evils that should come into this noble disrepute.
Can you see where I wanted to go?
Blessings.
cab
A powerful bird of prey (such as the erne or sea eagle) would justify a lion (especially if it has been hurt) scampering for refuge.
The elusion I wanted to create is of a "harmless" bird giving us a "hunter hunted" scenario. False pride/arrogance, greed, bullying, unfair advantage, and loudmouthedness are among the evils that should come into this noble disrepute.
Can you see where I wanted to go?
Blessings.
cab
30th Apr 2019 5:29pm
30th Apr 2019 5:35pm
