My Own Worst Enemy

I am so tired of giving up before I even try
glorifying my failures

I've beat myself down so low that I don't bother getting up

just stay prone
and wallow in self inflicted misery

I've been here so long that the muck has dried on my skin
hardened into a weight
exhausting to carry
splashing into my eyes
clouding my vision

nothing appeals to me
not even things I love
to do
my desires have been muted
pleasure no longer pleasing

but the Spring breeze is blowing
soft scents awakening
getting up will be difficult
but my heart is stirring
and that is a beginning

so send me happy thoughts
let me into your life
allow me to help, pray and support
because that is the only clear path I see to my own healing

If you see me floundering in this pit I've been living in
throw me a rope
lend me a hand and allow me to do the same for you