Inner Conflict

Mama I'm at conflict with self,

A casualty of a war I'm destined to win,
Peace, an idea resident in the crevices of my shattered heart
Love, a dream  disguised as a memory
I can only meditate on its thought
Like the old reminisce  their days of youth
Time is the enemy
I am a prisoner to my choices
Enslaved  by my paradoxical reminisces
I reflect all the sadness with a smile

Mama I'm at conflict with self.

Like an onion  I will never tear down before them
Though so many times I bite through the layers of my thick skin,
Playing  both the oppressor and the oppressed,
Trying to be strong in my weakness
It's a war no other mortal can dare witness
A god in my own rite, Imagine the tough choices

Mama I'm at conflict with self
 
God willing,
One day I will be at peace,
When self decides to give me a rest.
And I by your side will cherish that moment,
And revel  in a victory long awaited.

Mama! Then I will be at conflict no more