I Look Up

Look up
Tell me what you see
The stars, the clouds, the Sun
Majestic winged beauties in all their glory
The wonders of God and Man
Time and time again I wish for wings to take flight
Leave it all behind and flee
But life in its eternal irony has me grounded
And to add insult to injury
The only time I look to the skies is when I can't see
To me, it's all a blur
Because my vision is clouded
I descry the vague shapes like I am watching through a shattered lens
Yes, I look up
But not to appreciate the view
No, I look up to keep the tears unshed
Even though the pain is too much to bear
Even though I have nothing left inside
Even though I have given it all and more
I look up as the sparkle in my eye fades
Even though it has been replaced by the gleam of insanity
An old friend who keeps me company when at my lowest
Who kept me warm through the tempest
When all was but cold despair
A temptress who's appeal increases by the day
But still I look up
I look up for fortitude
Even though my heart is heavy
As I walk through the fields of Hell
I look up
I look up to keep my head high
I look up to fantasize
I look up to dream of storms and destruction
Even as my essence slips away
I look up with a wish
To light the world on fire and watch it burn
To bring down the flames of my vengeance upon the world
I look up to keep face in the face of hardship
Even though inside I am but a scared and scarred child
I look up to keep what I fought so hard not to lose
Dignity
Bent, beaten, battered, bruised
But never broken
I look up because it is all I have left
I look up because I have no choice
I look up because there is no other way
I look up because I forgot how no to
I look up because it is who I am
Because it is what I have become
But what's all this to you
What do you care if where you see life as a blessing?
I see endless torture at the hands of monsters
Where you light a blunt to have fun with friends
I blow out the smoke and hope my troubles go with
Where you sleep soundlessly
I barter with the Devil for one night of respite
Where you see friends, brothers, neighbors
I see the monster inside
Isn't that why I am shunned and despised
Because where you see the facade created over the years
Where you see a man, a woman, a girl, a boy
Where you see what is put up in the light
I see what lurks in the shadows
I see the wolf under sheep skin
I see the flawed creature inside
I see the greed, the envy, the hate
The distrust, the pain, the fear
I see the sin
I see the abomination trying it's best to conceal itself
But above all, I see myself
Because I am you
I am human too
I carry the same burdens
I cry the same tears
I inhale the same air you breathe
So why do you treat me as if I am beneath
Why do you keep me beaten and chained?
When I am but a reflection of your actions towards me
Why do you punish me for becoming what you made me into?
Why do you lie to yourself?
Why do you keep up the act of normalcy?
When behind closed doors you're anything but?
Why do you imitate?
If you want to be like someone who want to be like someone else
Then who are you?
Why do you choose what is easy over what is right?
Is it because it is hard to look inside?
Or are you scared of what you will find?
Will my questions ever be answered?
I guess not
Just another anomaly in humanity and its sheep mentality
Just another day under the Sun
Lost in my thoughts as I look up
But next time you do too
Try to open your eyes
And pray the Lord will have mercy when you see.