Socially Acceptable Suicide

I've had enough.

It was a good run,
but now it's time
to call it quits.
However with family in mind
I'm keeping it subtle.

So I smoke.
At 11 minutes of life
per cigarette.
And 6 smokes
per day.
I'm 4000 seconds closer
to meeting Mr. Reaper.

It's all to much.
At first it was fun.
Now it's more work
than it's worth.
My friends just laugh,
so I play along it's a joke.

And I drink.
Beyond what I should.
It shatters Synapses,
it damages dendrites.

My methods sprawl on,
from sleepless nights
to fasting days
(religious connotations sound far more acceptable)
to despicable practices
for my eyes alone.

However,
if you've any ideas
I'm always
all ears.