Unspoken Love

Sometimes    
I invent God in a vain attempt      
to survive nights of ungodliness      
        
when      
beyond the far side of the moon      
with no compass, I feel the dark        
        
the way I do now      
while you sit with him      
without smiling and deep in thought
I watch him play the game, the mating ritual
kissing you for show and tell, another conquest
You will fuck him tonight although he will never see how beautiful you truly are
your soft neck, your piercing eyes that know what is really going on
the taste of your skin

I loath myself
I will never have the courage to tell you  that he doesn't deserve you
   Do you even care about that shit anyway?

I am alone in this crowded room.