deepundergroundpoetry.com
rusted
My eyes
rusted
from endless cries
My brain
rusted
from dreamless nights
My heart
rusted
into seamless cracks
rusted
from endless cries
My brain
rusted
from dreamless nights
My heart
rusted
into seamless cracks
Published 19th Nov 2011
| Edited 20th Nov 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 2
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
19th Nov 2011 10:49am
Is the best you have written Tashi. It really is awsome, and testament to your devoted hard work. Well done.
I think those commas are screwing your rythm up tho, try taking them out and putting a full stop (.) at the end of each Stanza, might free it up a bit. But really nice work.
I think those commas are screwing your rythm up tho, try taking them out and putting a full stop (.) at the end of each Stanza, might free it up a bit. But really nice work.
20th Nov 2011 00:13am
