Not Alone

I've been trying to find my way into the light but I barely made it,
  I hope there's people out there that hear this and begin to change things.
 I cant walk out side without wondering why i deserve to be on this fuckin planet
 but that's besides the point
 I am writing this as inspiration.
  No one can tell you what its like to be anxious to make friends,
 but its alot like living alone in your head.
But I need to make a change before i end up drinking my self to death.
  I use to love to be around people, but now i just want to sit at home alone and think about all the fucked up things in my life that have gone on.
   I wish i could take it all back and start over,
But whats the point of living life if you cant make mistakes that you have to get over,
 I'm running out of places for the scars and the bruises,
  The imprints of my past share the life i lived without a word spoken.
Anymore I feel claustrophobic
 feels like my closet stays closed becuase all the demons spend every night playing games with my head
in my room,
                      its torture.
     Ive been knee deep in regrets and empty promises for 20 years.
  Every time i said i was sorry i was so fuckin insincere,
     and im sorry.
   Ive always been affriad of the pain, trying to face it, i know some people out there still cant over come this shit they'll never escape it.
  I cut drank smoked and went to a psychiatrist and none of it worked, i know how you feel,
 but just know no matter what your goin through, your not the first.
              -Quentin Knight