Paint the Mirrors Black

I stare into this mirror for a time.
I sit in wonder at what my life's mission was, as I wipe the dust away from my fall from grace.
What was my purpose?
I sit, and stare at myself in wonder, and awe..
I question myself, and question my tenacity for life..
I sit. I stare, and for the first time...I wonder who I truly am.
Then I weep for what I have become.
The promises I made.
The promises that were then broken.
The few promises kept.
Think and look at the people who have loved me, and whom i have crushed beneath my self degradation.
I weep for all that I have lost, and for all that I have gained.
I stare into this mirror and loathe myself.
I paint this mirror black to hide away my face.
Hide away from facing myself, so as not to see the truth.

The truth.
A thing not worth mentioning here.
The truth is a lie, a thing to be most feared.
I have hidden from it, and forsaken it.
Denied myself the very essence of truth, for no better reason than my own selfishness.
Which only causes me hurt.

The Hurt.
Yes. The Hurt. The only thing that makes me feel as though I'm right.
I hide behind my hurt.
Because in reality it was all wrong doing, just a facade for the multitudes and masses to lead them to believe it was justice....
The hurt is what lies in that reflection.
So cleverly concealed behind the smiles and eyes.
I stare into those dark eyes, and bow my head in shame as I am faced with my own inscrutable gaze.
I teeter on the brink of self destruction.
My focus dims, and fogs in the wake of my piety for my own gaze.

I wish to paint all the mirrors black...
So as never to meet my own gaze again.
Never to see my own failure etched across my weathered face
Never again.
Never.
Again.
Will I cry..cry for what has been lost to me.
for what is lost. May be found anew.