deepundergroundpoetry.com
...1991...
One time in 1991...
There was a romantic that held onto love so tight that all of the words sang in songs was there born birthright.
There was a romantic that took those words into a heart that they had to keep away so that it would not become alive.
So....
When there was that element of love to be born from it?
...in 1991, it dissipated& disappeared.
Nothing moved inside of all moments about itself & romantic just held itself alone.
There was a time in a memory of mind that wears the smell of a coastal pointing breeze.
Keeping this thought into a hold of nothing, romantic longed to be born again, yet this time, born to die. This was a way to make a heart do more than supply life to live. This would be the way to supply life to think.
...1991...romantic is tolling there... still
Underneath the mentions & the wants about you & them. There! Pronounced in bold enough montage to see you & kissing.
Coming into no age about shame & smoking notions with the dawn, looking for that coastal pointing breeze.
Then, to take solace in a human form, romantic became meek. This lasted a California moment, then decided that November was a bad month for this point of view, so it still was there, yet, drifting into all. Playing those songs.
What & where had no place to place itself, except inside of you that is& the points of where not to tell;Singing!
... 1991, quickly & never ending,
"Trust the story inside so far, with intentions of self & none. Forever! Now, that's a constant withering question, isn't it? "
The constant survival morals that all elements do live by, yet romantic allowed these things to help build the silence & making of the heart.
Longing to add it's own parable of phrase to survival, but was sullen by the outcome of the involved.
{in the constant whisper of thought, embedding you in love}
"This was a way to make a heart do more than supply life to live. This would be the way to supply life to think."
Never ending
Never ending
There was a romantic that held onto love so tight that all of the words sang in songs was there born birthright.
There was a romantic that took those words into a heart that they had to keep away so that it would not become alive.
So....
When there was that element of love to be born from it?
...in 1991, it dissipated& disappeared.
Nothing moved inside of all moments about itself & romantic just held itself alone.
There was a time in a memory of mind that wears the smell of a coastal pointing breeze.
Keeping this thought into a hold of nothing, romantic longed to be born again, yet this time, born to die. This was a way to make a heart do more than supply life to live. This would be the way to supply life to think.
...1991...romantic is tolling there... still
Underneath the mentions & the wants about you & them. There! Pronounced in bold enough montage to see you & kissing.
Coming into no age about shame & smoking notions with the dawn, looking for that coastal pointing breeze.
Then, to take solace in a human form, romantic became meek. This lasted a California moment, then decided that November was a bad month for this point of view, so it still was there, yet, drifting into all. Playing those songs.
What & where had no place to place itself, except inside of you that is& the points of where not to tell;Singing!
... 1991, quickly & never ending,
"Trust the story inside so far, with intentions of self & none. Forever! Now, that's a constant withering question, isn't it? "
The constant survival morals that all elements do live by, yet romantic allowed these things to help build the silence & making of the heart.
Longing to add it's own parable of phrase to survival, but was sullen by the outcome of the involved.
{in the constant whisper of thought, embedding you in love}
"This was a way to make a heart do more than supply life to live. This would be the way to supply life to think."
Never ending
Never ending
Published 15th Nov 2011
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Anonymous
16th Nov 2011 00:34am
...is unreadable. You have not written this clearly enough for the reader to work out what is happening.
Your first sentence; "There was a romantic that held onto love so tight that all of the words sang in songs was there born birthright" is enough to leave most readers behind.
What I think you meant was;
There once was a romantic who held onto love so tightly that all of the words sung in songs were his born birthright.
This is still not much of a sentence, but at least the reader now has a chance of understanding what is happening. You need to look at issues of tense, spelling and punctuation. No matter how good your idea, if you can't explain that idea clearly, you will never touch your reader.
DP.
Your first sentence; "There was a romantic that held onto love so tight that all of the words sang in songs was there born birthright" is enough to leave most readers behind.
What I think you meant was;
There once was a romantic who held onto love so tightly that all of the words sung in songs were his born birthright.
This is still not much of a sentence, but at least the reader now has a chance of understanding what is happening. You need to look at issues of tense, spelling and punctuation. No matter how good your idea, if you can't explain that idea clearly, you will never touch your reader.
DP.
20th Nov 2011 4:03pm
Yo, DP...
The words are written the way that they are intended to flow. This is a selfish act; this poetry that is shared. The etiquette to art is a contradiction unto itself, dig? Yet your opinion is appreciated.
999
The words are written the way that they are intended to flow. This is a selfish act; this poetry that is shared. The etiquette to art is a contradiction unto itself, dig? Yet your opinion is appreciated.
999
