Insomnia For Dummies

The room I occupy is silent, except for the faint humming of the ceiling fan and the clicking of
my fingers against little plastic buttons that do my bidding.

*Silence*

If I owned a watch, I would surely hear the ticking of each second the tiny hand deliberately measured.

*Tick* *Tick *Tick*

I exit the glow of a device that once held my interest and little plastic buttons that once did my bidding. My legs are cinder blocks as they propel me down the dark and tomb-like hallway as if I am in a funeral procession and I am gravitating towards a destination that I don't want to seek, but I know I must find.  I hang the familiar 'left' that will undoubtedly leave me standing in the center of my room.  

Dead on arrival.  That's what they'd say if they only knew that I was merely a marionette in my reality.  An actress reading a script to an audience that couldn't be bothered to stay long enough to see the ending.

I climb into the sanctuary that is my bed, and pull the blankets and sheets up to meet my lackluster face in a slow deliberate way as they converse with my skin.  I relish the experience of a slight tingle as they brush ever so gently across the numb extremities that yearn for the sweet caress of the unknown.  

knees
thighs
stomach
chest
chin

I cocoon myself within the thoughts that will hold me captive until sunrise. If this is all the comfort I might manage to scrape together tonight, so be it.

I beckon for sleep to grace the silence of this restless night but it refuses. It dances upon my pillow in it's usual mocking way as if to say, "you humor me, as you beg for something that will not be yours, not tonight." I wait to be carried away to the fantasia that is my Dreamworld.

Carry me, sweet sleep.
Guide me, and I will follow.

I will follow, but there is never an end. Only a beginning that I wait to enter into...