deepundergroundpoetry.com
What If.
I saw her cry
lashed her eyelids
with the dew
of a broken dream
Morning came
sleep never did
turned and tossed
and thought...
What If.
lashed her eyelids
with the dew
of a broken dream
Morning came
sleep never did
turned and tossed
and thought...
What If.
Published 7th Nov 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 0
reading list entries 0
comments 1
reads 555
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
7th Nov 2011 5:00pm
I think the risk of failure increases in proportion to the brevity of the poem.
A single word out of place and you lose...
But you can relax, I think you've pulled it off & " the dew of a broken dream" parades your poetic heart.
"Turned & tossed" or tossed and turned - I can't decide which sounds best, no matter - thanks for the read.
Best ~ Abra
A single word out of place and you lose...
But you can relax, I think you've pulled it off & " the dew of a broken dream" parades your poetic heart.
"Turned & tossed" or tossed and turned - I can't decide which sounds best, no matter - thanks for the read.
Best ~ Abra
