I Am The Background To My Own Foreground Merged

(An Acrostic Poem for the "Background Competition)  

I Am The Background To My Own Foreground Merged  
 
Images merge like an hallucinations on top of a mirage  
 
At the conjuncture to the truth and lies  
Mentalist have such wet dreams that they are parched  
 
The reality is hidden in an unreal fashion  
Hidden behind many onion skins and layers  
Ernest divination is nigh on impossible  
 
But to be honest my background is sadness  
Actively tortured and abused as a child  
Church paedophile swap meet  
Knuckled candy kisses on clergies members  
Given prayer and the laying on of hands in private places  
Recurring violence for violence sakes  
Open heart surgery with innocence removed  
Underlying guilt trips to seaside places  
No rescue, no salvation and no prayers answered  
Dreams of death and desires of my demise unbounded  
 
To this apparent background  
Only this is missing; a foreground  
 
My adult hood paints a picture  
Yet unfinished in its final hours  
 
Only repeated like rich food and alcohol  
Welcome to the greyness pixelated  
No colours in high definition  
 
Foreground is laid over background with surprising results  
Only the actors are different but the abuse remains similar  
Registering abuses covering the rest of adulthood  
Easily takes on the victims role, wish, rinse and repeat  
Generating adult abuses of parenthood, victimised in reverse  
Readily with ease I was abused as a child and an adult  
Offered nought in marriage her guilty of so many affairs
Unfortunately love came to late to change the narrative  
Needlessly I've been broken by my past and future  
Death and the desire for death have not left me  
 
Methinks the only purpose in life was my suffering  
Endless is the hurt I have undergone  
Right and wrong have very little to do with it  
Genuinely my background is merging to my foreground  
Endless is the suffering that comes from the composite image  
Death is the only constant in my life, framed to perfection