Cartesian Ink Mix

I am a week sober today.
An achievement soured by the fact
That the only reason is a dearth of dealers
Alcohol wheelers,
Or skeeving thieves of peace of mind.

Im a week sober today.
I have never felt complete,
But less so without my faculty of reason,
On paid leave,
courtesy of the dizzy season
Sponsered by the Bureau of Intoxicants.

Im a week sober today,
But while Im glad this is the case,
I want to rip my hair out
 and wail inconsolably,
Because sobriety has not made me a better me.
Its only made more acute that anxiety
And abject agony.
That no one but a few can see and
when no one is there to listen to me
I fall apart.
But the chemicals, you see,
They have a tendency
To evoke a Cartesian duality:
One part loud philosopher clown body,
Ninety nine parts screaming spirits.

Better than a hundred parts weeping me.