deepundergroundpoetry.com
WATERDANCE
I want to be the stone
That skips
On the surface
Of your body of water
I want to sling ripples
At your edges
That you struggle
To contain
I want to fall short
Of the other side
Sink and bury myself
In your bed
I want to feel you
Undulate like that
Over me
To the end
That skips
On the surface
Of your body of water
I want to sling ripples
At your edges
That you struggle
To contain
I want to fall short
Of the other side
Sink and bury myself
In your bed
I want to feel you
Undulate like that
Over me
To the end
Published 9th Oct 2018
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comments 13
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
9th Oct 2018 3:15pm
Really unique !
9th Oct 2018 4:05pm
Anonymous
9th Oct 2018 4:39pm
So beautiful.
9th Oct 2018 4:43pm
9th Oct 2018 8:49pm
9th Oct 2018 8:52pm
Wow, thanks. I'll try to keep the wonderful to a more manageable level next time ;-)
9th Oct 2018 8:53pm
9th Oct 2018 9:04pm
Let's see. Near as I can figure, a proper swooning involves:
1) The fanning your face with your hands stage: Being moved to distraction from something, even if it is the thing that is forcing the swoon.
2) The faint stage: System overload; pair of strong hands needed, properly placed beforehand, on standby for this event.
3) The recovery: Whereby the Swoonee slowly opens their eyes to meet the deeply relaxing gaze of owner of hands mentioned earlier.
Seems like a lot of moving parts. Quite a production. I am forced to agree with you, much as I am a fan of your swooning.
1) The fanning your face with your hands stage: Being moved to distraction from something, even if it is the thing that is forcing the swoon.
2) The faint stage: System overload; pair of strong hands needed, properly placed beforehand, on standby for this event.
3) The recovery: Whereby the Swoonee slowly opens their eyes to meet the deeply relaxing gaze of owner of hands mentioned earlier.
Seems like a lot of moving parts. Quite a production. I am forced to agree with you, much as I am a fan of your swooning.
10th Oct 2018 1:48am
Damn - foiled again. No more light, soft falling and landing far, far away from here.
9th Oct 2018 8:57pm
Nice use of metaphor. The choice to use water and its surroundings is very organic. Lovely.
9th Oct 2018 9:06pm
Thank you Eerie. I think I am still riffing in some ways from the Lake Eerie poem. Ripples of inspiration can travel so far...
10th Oct 2018 8:10pm
Thank you. When I long, I write. You wrote about the outside edges. I wrote about the inside ones.
