deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Milky Way
Jupiter whispered,
"Hey Saturn, let's go for a spin."
They gave Neptune a ring
and upon his waking, made turmoil on
the Earth's waters.
Venus came to assist her sister
but Mars, angry with Earth because she got him wet,
rammed into the two of them.
With so much momentum, he hit
Mercury.
Uranus was curious about all the commotion
and came to see what happened,
and as Pluto wandered out of the galaxy,
the sun gulped all of them down.
"Hey Saturn, let's go for a spin."
They gave Neptune a ring
and upon his waking, made turmoil on
the Earth's waters.
Venus came to assist her sister
but Mars, angry with Earth because she got him wet,
rammed into the two of them.
With so much momentum, he hit
Mercury.
Uranus was curious about all the commotion
and came to see what happened,
and as Pluto wandered out of the galaxy,
the sun gulped all of them down.
Published 26th Dec 2009
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4th Jan 2010 2:50am
22nd Jul 2011 6:03pm
Amusing but well-imagined. I think you avoided reasonably well coming off as silly, childish humor. I liked it.
If anything I'd like to see an expansion of the characterization of the planets. I feel there's more to be had in this one.
If anything I'd like to see an expansion of the characterization of the planets. I feel there's more to be had in this one.
