deepundergroundpoetry.com
Who to Love
I don’t know who I’m supposed
to fall in love with tonight.
I hope she talks to me for hours
And says it’ll be okay,
And when morning comes,
She’ll smile just the same.
I hope she likes to cuddle
And play games all day long
And that she’ll remember
The lyrics to our special song
And most of all,
I must admit:
I hope she looks a lot like you,
‘Cause then it will all come true.
Published 12th Aug 2018
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
12th Aug 2018 7:22pm
This poem is elegant! I like how you played with your words at the end.
Keep up the awesome writing!
Keep up the awesome writing!
This is a very lovely rendition of longing. I enjoyed the genuine energy of the piece as well as formatting.
Because you have requested honest critique, I would suggest being consistent in capping only the beginning of sentences. Also, while I understand the comma placement, it really isn't necessary.
Again, much enjoyed.
Because you have requested honest critique, I would suggest being consistent in capping only the beginning of sentences. Also, while I understand the comma placement, it really isn't necessary.
Again, much enjoyed.
13th Aug 2018 6:52am
