Mac 'N' Cheese

People are surprised that I'm bisexual.
(Especially guys.)
They say
“No way! I would've never guessed that!”
As though I have to wear a rainbow-striped speedo everytime I go to the beach
Like it's some sort of requirement to being bisexual,
But I guess I never got that message.
Yeah, I'm bisexual.
“How are you bisexual?”
I say
“Actually I can explain pretty easily.
What's your favorite food?
Mac ‘N' Cheese?
Alright, why do you like Mac ‘N' Cheese?”
“I like the cheese.”
“No, that's not what I asked.
I didn't ask what you liked about it.
WHY do you like Mac ‘N’ Cheese?”
“Uhmmm.”
“Exactly. I can't tell you why I like boys and girls
Anymore than you can explain your love
For Mac ‘N’ Cheese.
I just like ‘em.
You get it?”

“No.”

“It's something in your brain.
You smell Mac ‘N’ Cheese and think
‘Imma eat the fuck outta that.’
And I'm over here and I see a boy or girl and I think
Niiiiiice.”
“So you didn't choose it?”
“Nah, it chose me.
But It's okay.
I don't mind because It's something I personally enjoy.”
“Just don't fuck me or anything when I'm not paying attention.”
Oh.
My.
God.
“Are you retarded?
Do you fuck every girl you see?
No.
You find ones you like.
I'm not into you like that.
And also you aren't gay, so there's that.
We don't just go around
Fucking everyone
All the time
For no reason.
We're just like straight people.
Except, ya know,

We're not.
Anyway, catch you later.
I gotta go fuck someone or
Maybe I'll try on my new rainbow speedo.
Enjoy your Mac ‘N' Cheese.”