Dude

Some days I just sit up in my room and think about how I first met you. How I never thought you were going to do this, I thought like wine you would get better in time you would. Then I smile thinking how I lie to make myself get past the truth of loving you. How I make myself sick thinking how me and your daughter were never enough. If we were never enough, while why didn’t you  just stay in Youngstown when I left. I promised never to take your kid from you but you never trusted me, only kept listening to motherfuckas who never knew me. Now look at you.  
 
I think how stupid I was only for you. Yea I know I was a bitch but I stayed and you didn’t ever make it easy but I never deserved your shit. I really cannot think all this shit up about loving -Dude-  loving him was a rollercoaster. Some days I just couldn’t stand him, most days I was confused over him but I always loved his crazy ass. Always wanted to talk to him always wanted to lay under him and smell his under arms. I never thought I would eventually leave you or only think about you but today’s one of those days