deepundergroundpoetry.com
Broken Origins
Never a kind hand,
your contact knew
only pain
Your unending
Frustration
Your enduring
Superiority
Your ultimate
Masculinity
But I grew one day
to challenge
knocking you down
then frozen
until you choked
me almost to death
Only my pride died
until I tried next
I then fled into dreams
killing you nightly
screaming soundlessly
Now in your old
broken body
I should destroy you
but better still
to leave you
with two children
you will never
conquer :
Regret & Shame
Published 23rd May 2018
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likes 5
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The author encourages honest critique.
23rd May 2018 3:41am
23rd May 2018 4:55am
Anonymous
23rd May 2018 6:51am
Hello.
The two children reference at the end is actually a really lovely touch. I dunno why but I had this image in my head of Vikings, avenging their Father’s death through the ages. I guess they were into crap like that. I think the picture of the wolf also steered my mind to Fenrir and some of the Norse pantheon... I go off on a tangent sometimes.
I like the way this poem is formatted. It makes it very easy to read in terms of flow... and the flow is seething. Bared teeth. I like that about it.
Thank you for the read.
The two children reference at the end is actually a really lovely touch. I dunno why but I had this image in my head of Vikings, avenging their Father’s death through the ages. I guess they were into crap like that. I think the picture of the wolf also steered my mind to Fenrir and some of the Norse pantheon... I go off on a tangent sometimes.
I like the way this poem is formatted. It makes it very easy to read in terms of flow... and the flow is seething. Bared teeth. I like that about it.
Thank you for the read.
24th May 2018 3:08am
Thank you Sub for reading and commenting
I've always fancied a Norse lineage
Straight forward cause & effect
are actions lost in this age of
careful co-existence
Sandman
I've always fancied a Norse lineage
Straight forward cause & effect
are actions lost in this age of
careful co-existence
Sandman
Anonymous
23rd May 2018 2:24pm
The old memories and ghosts are the hardest to reconcile, aren't they? As children we have no recourse to fight back. And those wounds fester. This is a brilliant, and painful, write...acknowledging the hold and weight of the cruelty and having the strength to give it back...in the form of their own shame and regret. I love how you expressed this as children. Sending hugs your way, Sandman
...ever your Willow
...ever your Willow
24th May 2018 3:11am
Thank you for reading and commenting Dear
I've so much I'm now willing to release
I'll not be shamed by the past
as I fight for the future
Sandman
I've so much I'm now willing to release
I'll not be shamed by the past
as I fight for the future
Sandman
