my mind's summer

here i go spinning into little pieces again,  
pieces like petals i’ll dust over your haze
pieces like animal bone you suck on when there’s nothing else  
around on rabbithole saturdays diving deep to feel a little something unreal,  
losing ourselves,  
stuck inside my ribs, my apathy, my cracked concrete, i find you intertwined    
pieces like glass i left broken in the outermost parts of your mind  
you’ll forget and step on me, feel a tug grit your teeth then learn to step over me  
 
i seem to beg for a reply, for you to come trailing behind the crumbs i’m leaving  
but you’re so predictable and i’m so predictable because nobody is willing to  
live like a movie but god-willing i’ll be a goddamn surprise party  
hardly, i’m just as dull and boring darling  
--monotony is a cycle and my hands are aching to break  
but everything is afraid  
 
i want to knock my head down from the heavens and fall into your version of earth,  
a million miles away from mine, biting into reality like a sour apple rebirth  
but i know i'll just keep on breathing through those blurry dandelion fuzzies  
drifting in my mind’s summer, rusted swing sets, that morning dreamy smell,  
innocence feels like another void
I see now like a memory, moments to add to my nostalgia collection  
 
you used to look a whole lot like god  
but i’m gonna have to stop wishing you could hear my thoughts,  
i’m turning to ruin--your silence splinters off ignorance,  
my loose grip on translating and hiding is crumbling me    
but you’ll never know cause you got sick and tired of swallowing my melodrama  
and I got sick and tired of thinking about you
 i want to think, i want to write about something bigger  
but this is all i know and i’m no pretender unless you count faking feeling real  
and grounded, i’m home now in distance.