untitled ( 9 )

the light from my phone is the only thing i can see.

besides that my room is pitch black. not even the moon's gentle beams will shine in the window tonight. it's so quiet my ears are ringing. it makes my mind hazy.

it makes my eyes heavy and my heart swollen with emotion, and for particular reason at all, i want to die. i imagine what it would be like to pass peacefully in my sleep.

would i stay with my body in spirit? how long would it be for someone to notice? and are they crying for me, or crying over the sudden absence?

i try and drown the thoughts. they only encourage my hand further. i stare at the starless ceiling and try and make out shapes in the dark. eventually i am trying to find answers to questions i know the answer to.

he doesn't care anymore, does he? i'm a monster, aren't i? why am i still even living through this pain and suffering?

i think i'm a bad person, and i know it to be true. i just hope i don't hurt anyone else.