my inner world

they tell me i am beautiful but how can i feel such beauty
when my inner world , my mind speaks of the bad, ugly , unworthy, unpleasant
 if i say to a guy or to anybody, i tell them how i feel ugly
their immediate response revolves around their lack of understanding
they just see beauty, lucky for them, away from my mind
their lucky not to feel an inner bad world
i hate unworthy feelings, i hate negative feelings
i hate having to feel ugly and unpleasant , inside
made to feel this way by events in my life
feelings wrapped up inside of myself
to feel ugly , unattractive and unpleasant
funny how people treat you inconsiderately,  bad events come your way
yet your the one who feels ugly, your the one who feels bad
worthless, unpleasant and unattractive
they , people, events have taken their toll against you
your the one left empty, feeling worthless and blue
your the one left with an ugly inner world
because of other people, you were left feeling like nothing and nobody
an empty shell, a hole lurking within
because of a bad universe, you were the one feeling like an abused piece of trash
trodden on and walked all over, ,your mind , heart and soul
they got away with it, didn't they
the selfish people, the ones who never considered your feelings
the bad universe out there attacked you , picked on you
because they could and they saw you as a target
they got away with it, didn't they
your the one left with wrong feelings
a often weird and bad inner world
they never considered your feelings , never cared enough
your the one who suffered, still continue
to be pained by a thoughtless little world
which should have been a lot nicer to you
i'm relieved when those feelings do not linger within
relieved when i actually feel nice inside
or nicer, frustrated when those feelings return to taunt me
waiting for them to leave, so i can feel a little better, again
to spend so much of your life feeling wrong inside
it's almost like in your inner world, you've been living a lie
whilst so many others walk around with their normal internal world
knowing nothing of emptiness, voids, low self esteem
lack of confidence, neglect and abuse
all they know is their happiness, their normal little world
no idea what its like to feel wrong inside , so much of the time
i just wish i was one of those girls, who felt normal more of the time