deepundergroundpoetry.com
Atrium
( a Sonnet )
The pinks of upper desert where I go,
The season slakes its thirst ‘ere mesa bleed.
When brash santanas barrel bending low,
To scorch and turn all into tumbleweed.
But come a blight the wind of colder days,
And raises twice the altitude of hush.
A hidden veil to bring a new moon phase,
This constellation arc of whisper’d rush.
And never was the nape of sky so deep,
From where I watch and see a universe.
To be all this and nevermore to sleep,
But dreams are how I’m able to traverse.
So clear the ‘scape it lets in all the light,
The atrium of sky, its starry night.
Copyright©️2018 Jade Pandora. All Rights Reserved.
NaPo/GloPoWriMo 2018
photo credit: beboy / Shutterstock
The pinks of upper desert where I go,
The season slakes its thirst ‘ere mesa bleed.
When brash santanas barrel bending low,
To scorch and turn all into tumbleweed.
But come a blight the wind of colder days,
And raises twice the altitude of hush.
A hidden veil to bring a new moon phase,
This constellation arc of whisper’d rush.
And never was the nape of sky so deep,
From where I watch and see a universe.
To be all this and nevermore to sleep,
But dreams are how I’m able to traverse.
So clear the ‘scape it lets in all the light,
The atrium of sky, its starry night.
Copyright©️2018 Jade Pandora. All Rights Reserved.
NaPo/GloPoWriMo 2018
photo credit: beboy / Shutterstock
Published 23rd Apr 2018
Author's Note
This is my Day 23 in this year’s April NaPoWriMo.
“santanas” = strong, hot winds ( forecasters have erroneously always called them “Santa Anas” ).
“santanas” = strong, hot winds ( forecasters have erroneously always called them “Santa Anas” ).
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23rd Apr 2018 3:42pm
and there is the desert night - I see its universe - in tiger's eye
so well written,
so washed in the ease of universal night
RL bound....
✨
so well written,
so washed in the ease of universal night
RL bound....
✨
30th May 2018 11:41am
Oh my goodness, I'm sorry Tomcat, I totally missed the comments for this particular NaPo write!
But you know how I am about astronomy - especially the night, the stars, the rapidly receding history that seems ever still-born to we, the tiny ameba on this lone round marble.
Thank you always for the honor of your RL. <3
But you know how I am about astronomy - especially the night, the stars, the rapidly receding history that seems ever still-born to we, the tiny ameba on this lone round marble.
Thank you always for the honor of your RL. <3
23rd Apr 2018 7:09pm
I really liked " mesa bleed".
tumbleweed,barrel,scorch - i'm liking the wild west feel of this.
this second stanza and the night comes out, the rising stars in the sky,and the dreamers dreaming.
"the altitude of hush"- i now have to rise to new heights.also when i think of hush i think of this Batman comic book series also called hush.
stanza 3 takes us to a warm tender place curled up in blankets.symphonies resonant strings,and a train trip across the stars.
it's freeing the idea of having a hole in the middle of the roof in your house.the sonnet, the succulence.
my hats off to you ma'am. you drew the stars with a pen,tapped it with your wand and brought them to life dancing through the night sky.
well penned.
tumbleweed,barrel,scorch - i'm liking the wild west feel of this.
this second stanza and the night comes out, the rising stars in the sky,and the dreamers dreaming.
"the altitude of hush"- i now have to rise to new heights.also when i think of hush i think of this Batman comic book series also called hush.
stanza 3 takes us to a warm tender place curled up in blankets.symphonies resonant strings,and a train trip across the stars.
it's freeing the idea of having a hole in the middle of the roof in your house.the sonnet, the succulence.
my hats off to you ma'am. you drew the stars with a pen,tapped it with your wand and brought them to life dancing through the night sky.
well penned.
30th May 2018 11:44am
Sean, my apologies for the very late response... I missed the comments to this NaPo write completely!
But better late than never (I never say, haha), to let you know how much I appreciate the time taken by you to give me your thoughts, piece-by-piece. I miss hearing from you ever since your return from Atlanta.
Take care...
But better late than never (I never say, haha), to let you know how much I appreciate the time taken by you to give me your thoughts, piece-by-piece. I miss hearing from you ever since your return from Atlanta.
Take care...
