Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Sunlight
Anonymous
21st Apr 2018 7:59am
Mysterious.. i dig this.. very beautiful, like you.. my sister..
Dave
Dave
1
Re: Re. Sunlight
22nd Apr 2018 3:39am
Re. Sunlight
21st Apr 2018 10:21am
i like the simplicity, the rhythm and the lure you create to peek behind the veil. nice write.
i do have one suggestion to try on for size:
how would the poem read for you if you removed the word 'even' ?
i think it might strengthen what we are really interested in...that even though there are others the veil may provide cover for, perhaps for dark souls to breath...it is that YOU are shaded that is of more interest than the veil itself possibly used by others. does this make sense? i love how powerful - for good or bad - a single word can be in a piece...and when i see it as a lever it intrigues me so i thought i'd share the thought for whatever it is worth...
again : nice write!
i do have one suggestion to try on for size:
how would the poem read for you if you removed the word 'even' ?
i think it might strengthen what we are really interested in...that even though there are others the veil may provide cover for, perhaps for dark souls to breath...it is that YOU are shaded that is of more interest than the veil itself possibly used by others. does this make sense? i love how powerful - for good or bad - a single word can be in a piece...and when i see it as a lever it intrigues me so i thought i'd share the thought for whatever it is worth...
again : nice write!
1
Re: Re. Sunlight
22nd Apr 2018 3:40am
thank you. I will try your suggestions! Your insight is great thanks love. <3
Re. Sunlight
23rd Apr 2018 7:42am
Even in the darkest of depths one can never truly escape the harshest of light. I love how you use few words to create such raw depths of emotional imagery, many thoughts provoked. Much Love and Mad Mad Respect,
Survivor 🥀
Survivor 🥀
1
Re: Re. Sunlight
24th Apr 2018 1:29am
Re: Re. Sunlight
24th Apr 2018 3:59am
Thank you Mysterious feels great being back. Much Love and Mad Mad Respect,
me,
me,
1
Re. Sunlight
12th May 2018 11:43am
Re: Re. Sunlight
13th May 2018 3:00am
Re. Sunlight
13th May 2018 6:45pm
I read this one aloud 5 or 6 times and it reads so well with a heartbeat all of its own - loved it :-)))))
1
Re: Re. Sunlight
14th May 2018 00:58am