british boy

i wanna hear your voice again
but then i would have to shed my last strands of dignity
and even then it wouldn’t work, wouldn’t be worth it
might just like you for that accent anyway
trust me, darling, i don’t want to be obsessed
i just can’t shake the dream of you loose

you don’t wanna hold on ‘cause i’m getting on your nerves
bringing too much emotional baggage on board
that’s fine i’ll jump off this hypothetical boat metaphor for a hopeless non-relationship too
and we’ll both keep on throwing up our pride before we can ever truly swallow it
not that you’ll ever give me a second thought
while i continue to sink deeper into shakespearean tragedies
i’ve created for us in my misguided, overly romantic head
and you sit and think of not me
and that’s fine, i rested too much of my shaky sanity on you fixing me
on you feeling the same as me but lest we forget that i have a screw or two loose

pretty certain you just wanted a virtual girl to kill time with
not one that’ll burden you with bullshit excuses
and stay silent the other half of time in fear of fucking it all up
guess i did anyway
so might as well say what’s on my mind next time  
these thoughts, my words, my actions are unbearable

so fuck it i’m just gonna be me no matter how much it hurts
how much you hate it, how much it doesn’t work
everything reminds me of you, even my own mind
and it hurts so bad but i gotta get a new lease on life