My b's look like 6's so when should i exit at stage right ?

I question who i am wholeheartedly
a theater play so perfectly planned out when curtains are drawn
poignant
who i want to die as
someone who left it all on the goddamn table
not a Benedict Arnold turncoat to my own emotions

feelings laid out
as work clothes on the bed
white scratch paper brainstorm from science class desks
the man i'm striving to be
bring meaning to the maelstrom inside

i sit down and think of what values i wish to instill in my son
does music preference make a man
eye color
contradiction in a conversation
how well we handle Death

looking at the lines & creases on the backs of my hands
i run through my life's biggest mistakes
more than a few to mention
taking a reverse page out of Elvis's "my way"

a poet
pretentious asshole
pocket dreamer
python because the year of the snake snuck up and bit me

chest cavities expand and retract
this breath brought me back to this point in time
following a web work of veins up arms and necks so neat
troubled seems fitting of a word to whisper as i pass

maybe one day i'll darken your doorstep
or you could come and darken mine
until then i'll drench myself in a cold slumbers sweat
hounds of Zaroff chase me through woods of my dreams
i'll lay in wait
tricks up my sleeves to slit throats by