Patience

No sun out makes the cold even colder
No heat keeps this studio freezing
Four of us in a double bed
Pops coming home drunk at 3 am
Throwing water to wake up momma
So my baby brother pissed his self again
Sheets still stink from the night before
Bacon covers the smell of newports
But we know better then to look
Lay hungry with eyes closed tight
Remember being so confused
I love him cause he's my father
But I hate my dad
Wishing my mom would've married a better man
Wondering why God won't help us out

Time kept ticking
We kept growing
Mom got new jobs
And him
He stayed the same
No friends allowed over
No tv so no cartoons
At thirteen he started sending me down the street
Doing runs while other kids went to school
Knocked twice... wait ....then once more
Lay the twenty in the hand that reaches out
Wait... like a magician it turns money into dope
Remember thinking about all the food we could have
New shoes with no holes
Be fine with  catheads
Dream till I handed dad that small bag
Sit back down and stare at the empty television cabinet
Belt would be tied and needle ready
He had mom help him out
Then we watched our father shoot up
Small drop of blood falls to the floor
I couldn't help but to think the Lord hated us

I'm grown now
I have a job now
Saved up and moved on
Just me and my brothers now
Mom stayed but I knew she didn't want to
She has to be tired of the abuse
We visit twice a week
Haven't seen our dad since
Its not much but to us it's everything
Two bedrooms
Three separate beds
A couch and a reclining chair
That's sits across from the television cabinet that holds the t.v
Dinner every night
And my brother hasn't pissed the bed yet
Laughter replaced crying
We talk without yelling
Sleep without fear
I look up and close my eyes
Thank the Lord for his help
It feels good to live life without fear