elaborate

elaborate:
misgiven, let down, morality shaken off by temptation
and unfulfilled sin craves on the tip of your tongue.
erect, or wet, come together
or one
conceal the corpse of abuse, make a humble retreat,
mask the tracks with reversal, spin,
rationalize till confused:  Look, you're okay.
there was a battered fantasy that invaded
the real, got what it deserved, no guilt
shame or yes missed by inches, a fleeting
act of kindness, a reprisal, or revenge?
Count the steps toward escape, the seconds
in a heart beating to live or to cease, or
without choice either way.  You're okay.
the wind is here, the street, the casualties
of night  in shallow pools of polluted tears.
Pain.  don't think of.  remember or forgive.
just retreat, run not away
but nowhere.  live to forget,
stream of distraction, burn the mind clean.
sun blind and falling, just like flying,
landing like Dead.