deepundergroundpoetry.com
My lil BirDy...
Morning Rain!
have u seen my lil birdy?
amazing how she chose me..
would follow even chase me..
sit on my shoulder. fly. churp and sing..
wake me each morning
with the soft flutter of her wings..
the moment i fell in love
i bought her a pretty gold cage..
but she no longer sang fa me..
hmmm...
how strange..
yesterday i open'd the door..
she flew away...
now i dont see her no more...
8^/ mornin world!...
have u seen my lil birdy?
amazing how she chose me..
would follow even chase me..
sit on my shoulder. fly. churp and sing..
wake me each morning
with the soft flutter of her wings..
the moment i fell in love
i bought her a pretty gold cage..
but she no longer sang fa me..
hmmm...
how strange..
yesterday i open'd the door..
she flew away...
now i dont see her no more...
8^/ mornin world!...
Published 30th Sep 2011
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Anonymous
30th Sep 2011 2:57pm
'Morning RAIN' ??? Wassup wid Peppz? Aaaah! I seeee. Nicely done.
Your phrasing subtly disguises your rhymes on the page, though I daresay you use them to your advantage in performance. Nice little motif here, bro.
One thing. The footnote isn't neccessary. The poem leaves exactly enough room for the reader to 'get' it which is part of the enjoyment with something like this. x Red
Your phrasing subtly disguises your rhymes on the page, though I daresay you use them to your advantage in performance. Nice little motif here, bro.
One thing. The footnote isn't neccessary. The poem leaves exactly enough room for the reader to 'get' it which is part of the enjoyment with something like this. x Red
i do thank you and understand.. was bout to erase the footnote.. till.. shit bro. i think there may come a few who my need it spelled out.. lol.. les leave it.. no harm. no foul.. 8^/ Red.
*edit on my comment* reread it.. your ri.. footnote completely underminds this poem.. so imma paste it to this comment box instead. haha.. 'if its yours u need no chains'.. guess i jus had to get that off my chest.. lol..
*edit on my comment* reread it.. your ri.. footnote completely underminds this poem.. so imma paste it to this comment box instead. haha.. 'if its yours u need no chains'.. guess i jus had to get that off my chest.. lol..
Anonymous
30th Sep 2011 7:07pm
Hey Bro. You said 'keep me honest'. I'll do my best but we both know the only person can do that is you. You did it here . Respect. R.
