Bleeding Heart

Bleeding Heart

Eye lids open exposing the bare eye to the dim light of the fucking world.
Soul screams out in agony pleading to be sent to the underworld.
Bones ache and stiffen as the body attempts to crawl out of the fucking bed.
The heart turns from red to black as it fills with dread.
Heart beat begins to slow wishing it was dead.
The brain spews out negativity all throughout the head.
Tear ducts fill with water as tears are shed.
In a dire world so dim there’s no point looking ahead.
For the past two years, I’ve been misled.
No wonder my eyes are being filled with furry and turning red.
Changes must begin now and need to be widespread,
before I end up completely defeated knocking on the grim reapers front door from my deathbed.
Want to doubt my sincerity, go the fuck ahead,
from now on I’m leaving your useless fucking messages on unread.

A living, breathing, walking corpse is all I’ve been the past two years.
Not a single occurrence of good has allowed me to cheer.
Paralyzed I’ve been by anxiety and fear.
It’s time to shift to a new fucking gear.
The truth behind this unbearable pain is becoming clear.
A new direction my life needs to steer.
Even if that means saying goodbye to you my dear,
I’ll embrace the challenge of forging a future self without you showing no fear.
I’ll build myself up as I begin a new career.
I’ll raise myself up from the dirt and ascend into the stratosphere
as I look down on you wondering how your outlook on life became so unclear.
You will doubt my intentions and belief I will fail on my own but I will persevere.
Starting over from fucking scratch for the second time, I’ll become a pioneer
of rebuilding and rebranding myself from the ground on up to the hemisphere.
2018 is the astronomical year,
and by the midway point my future will become clear.

I gave our relationship everything I fucking had.
I viewed you as my lover, friend and comrade.
I gave to you my heart and soul.
Making you my wife was my goal.
You took that heart and soul and crushed them into dust.
No wonder I lost all of my trust.
For two years, you haven’t shown me an ounce of love and admiration.
My own house feels like a foreign nation.
It feels like I’ve been subjected to castration.
You’ve become a constant source of frustration.
I’m putting you on blast with this narration,
but it’s all true, our relationship has reached stagnation.

Your treatment of me the past two years has broken my heart.
While not the only reason for this darkness, you played a major part.
Since day one of moving in with me, you’ve treated me like a worthless piece of meat.
Then you wonder why I stumble around like I’m dragging my feet.
My heart was destroyed by you.
My soul was crushed by you.
My will to live drew to a fucking cease.
I become a statue void of life.
Filled with darkness, my heart refused to fucking beat.
With no light to be found, my soul abandoned me and left me to rot.

A broken shell of my former self is what I’ve become once again,
but I’m here to tell you in pen,
I have awoken and sweeping changes are on the horizon.
I hope you find these words and my upcoming revival surprising.
These words are not an attack but are meant to enlighten
you to the fact that I’m entering a brand-new season.
I won’t leave this relationship despising,
I’m willing to go out compromising,
because even though you left me alone deserted on an island,
the good times we shared were mesmerizing.