deepundergroundpoetry.com
Welcome To the Slums
Welcome to the slums
Here you better carry a gun
Because if you don’t it’ll be your end
Here there’s no such thing as friend
Everybody’s your enemy
That’s how you got to roll in the city
Here Blood And Crips rule the streets
Pimps and hookers patrolin’ their beats
Here better hide your paycheck
If you don’t it may be ur neck
Broken and bloody in an alley
Left for O’ Malley
Cat to nip at your flesh and pick your bones
While you die in the gutter all alone
Here you better carry a gun
Because if you don’t it’ll be your end
Here there’s no such thing as friend
Everybody’s your enemy
That’s how you got to roll in the city
Here Blood And Crips rule the streets
Pimps and hookers patrolin’ their beats
Here better hide your paycheck
If you don’t it may be ur neck
Broken and bloody in an alley
Left for O’ Malley
Cat to nip at your flesh and pick your bones
While you die in the gutter all alone
Published 29th Sep 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 3
reads 795
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
30th Sep 2011 12:33pm
Alice...
You know, I really like your written mind, and this piece has so much potential, the story and the idea is wonderfull.
But having read your work, I really believe that if you read this piece over out loud, you would edit quite a few things, in this piece. And I think it might be the differance between a good poem and a brilliant one.
G'luck with it.
Blue Skies -x-
You know, I really like your written mind, and this piece has so much potential, the story and the idea is wonderfull.
But having read your work, I really believe that if you read this piece over out loud, you would edit quite a few things, in this piece. And I think it might be the differance between a good poem and a brilliant one.
G'luck with it.
Blue Skies -x-
30th Sep 2011 6:10pm
thanks so much for the great advice! I may try that. I really didn't have much care about this one, it's kind of just something, excuse my french, that I just pulled out of my ass. =) But since you think that it's really good i'll try out your advice when I can find the time to look at it again and see what I can do about revising it.
thank you,
Alice
thank you,
Alice
Anonymous
3rd Oct 2011 11:18am
Oh yes...
((smiles))
((smiles))
