the virtues of asphyxiation

please sell me garbage and deliver it to my face which is
always stunned into a smile by the vapid unreality of
all american promise and virtue,

you have no virtue but that of a whore who is overpaid,

not me not me not me,
i am worth it;

please put drugs in my ass,
my stomach is blown from deceptive ingestion;

i don't need a mask,
i've perfected the art of expressionless poker faced passive aggression,
i pinky promise not to rape you, rob you, or hug you;

as much as i may want you, you're still disgusting,
it's just that i want the fashion and envy of your disease,
surrounded, or submerged, in filth
those few who are clean appear damned;
certainly alone, certainly
not Us.

give me rope to hang myself with,
give me chinese food and pink slime, sell me death in all its delicious guises,
i am not a free man nor have i ever dared conceive of such an atrocity as making up my own mind,

i'll agree to fuck you but only if you're tied,
i can't risk the affection,
nor the possible sting of absence,

i can risk my life but not risk living,

give me commercials, give me bibles, give me answers to questions i never asked,
i'm like a newborn babe still wet, still like new but not quite;
i'm crying, i'm screaming,
smother me, smother me,
mark me, brand me, sell me, buy me,
make me famous, make me rich,
a diamond of ego,
nail me in, make me, shape me, create me,

it is not a crime;
it is every reason,
the whole point.