Soft Wood - Hard Wood

 
You phoned me talking dirty
No wood
 
You visited me dressed like a French Maid
Man: No wood
 
You exposed your breasts, thrusting them forward
Just nothing: No wood
 
You kissed me and slipped me your tongue
Still no wood
 
You took of your panties and fingered yourself
Nope: No wood
 
You mounted me on the chair simulated sex
I must be gay: No wood
 
She took my flaccid cock out and sucked it like a beast
For fuck sake: Still no wood!
 
She demanded her fifty bucks
Definitely no wood
 
She called me a fuckin useless cunt
Unsurprisingly: No wood!
 
I smacked her full bore in the face with a nine iron
I felt a stirring downstairs
 
I whacked her round the room for half an hour
Fuck I had a semi
 
Left her just alive in a pool of her own blood and teeth
It's getting harder
 
Went to the shed to get my hand axe; I had an idea
Still getting harder
 
Put her on the chair and fucked her bloody and toothless mouth
Now that's what I call a hard-on
 
Put her over the back of the chair fucked her hard
The rock is in session
 
Fucked her in the ass while trying to chop her head off
This is not my cock this is a tool
 
Pounding away, I cum when her head falls on the floor
Still hard, wow!
 
I have tissues to clean up all this fuckin mess
Don't you just love fantasy phone sex