The Current

All my life I remember arguing  
I remember parents fighting as I sat at the top of a staircase listening    
It's one of my first memories  
 
 I fell asleep and fell to the bottom of the stairwell  
   
the good times    
Which are fading like a painting    
Painted with poor technique    
Still seem beautiful in their own way to me but to others might seem ugly  
   
All my life I try to do what is good  
But it has more than not led to bad  
And each breath is becoming less and less enjoyable and each breath becomes harder to breathe  
   
All my life I make friends and lose friends and family members I try to love seem more and more distant until they pass away and I'm left with the feeling that life won't get much better even though people try to claim it will but ive lost the will to hope any longer and I don't even care  
   
 writing words and seeing them on paper seems meaningless  
   
These thoughts come and go  
Like a water wheel in a river no one remembers    
moss covers the wood and leads to decay  
it will turn to dust and mud someday    
And a school of fish may create a cloud of dirt in the water where the wheel once stood

moments later

 the cloud will vanish