deepundergroundpoetry.com
Way Out Together
Tonight we share the ultimate fate.
We join our friends in the grave.
This sick world gave us nothing but hatred.
Our way out together is where we depart this reality.
All our pain will finally end.
How we bled at the hands of the elite.
A final farewell like from so many before.
Eternal sleep where we can finally rest.
We were left with nothing but we will be set free.
Feel the breath of the fallen drift across the grave.
Tonight we shall ride with them, free from this life that hurt us with no mercy.
Join us and your feeble body will be unchained from you.
You know you need to be relieved.
You need something, anything to set you free.
We will set you free into eternal rest.
We join our friends in the grave.
This sick world gave us nothing but hatred.
Our way out together is where we depart this reality.
All our pain will finally end.
How we bled at the hands of the elite.
A final farewell like from so many before.
Eternal sleep where we can finally rest.
We were left with nothing but we will be set free.
Feel the breath of the fallen drift across the grave.
Tonight we shall ride with them, free from this life that hurt us with no mercy.
Join us and your feeble body will be unchained from you.
You know you need to be relieved.
You need something, anything to set you free.
We will set you free into eternal rest.
Published 1st Jan 2018
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likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 11
reads 769
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
1st Jan 2018 2:32am
Cryptic...but I can't really ignore the dark truth of this... Yup, nicely expressed
1st Jan 2018 2:48am
1st Jan 2018 8:58am
1st Jan 2018 5:06pm
1st Jan 2018 1:25pm
the first line is not a sentence
there should not be a full stop
at the end of fate just a comma,
line seven (like from) what do you mean?
line six is just classic cliche`(us and them)
in line ten (the breath of the fallen ) are still breathing
i would have wrote (last breath)
line thirteen is not a sentence
( you know you need to be relieved)
is he or she taking a piss!
i found the poem hollow
and full of cliche`
the poem exist on repetition
depart, grave, eternal rest,
the poem is destitute and obscure
there should not be a full stop
at the end of fate just a comma,
line seven (like from) what do you mean?
line six is just classic cliche`(us and them)
in line ten (the breath of the fallen ) are still breathing
i would have wrote (last breath)
line thirteen is not a sentence
( you know you need to be relieved)
is he or she taking a piss!
i found the poem hollow
and full of cliche`
the poem exist on repetition
depart, grave, eternal rest,
the poem is destitute and obscure
Anonymous
- Edited 4th Mar 2024 6:45am
4th Jan 2018 6:33am
<< post removed >>
5th Jan 2018 1:10am
9th Jan 2018 6:34am
even in the darkness you sow there is still some light :-)))
I liked this a lot :-)))
I liked this a lot :-)))
9th Jan 2018 11:04pm
Thanks, I know there's often light in darkness.
Sometimes it's just hard to find.
Sometimes it's just hard to find.
11th Jan 2018 2:55am
Morbidly inviting, you make the grim reaper death grip romantic. Well done
11th Jan 2018 4:05am
