Later in life

later  in life

He is everything to me, yet not enough
my husband , true love so you would think.
something missing, maybe it's  my secret kink.
So to banish my insecurities of being depraved.
unlovable maybe.
This seed planted over half a century ago,
now leads me into dark dungeons
behind masks that nobody knows
where ironically sex is harsh and nothing
to do with love, but does give me the kick
I so desperately crave
of being wanted, if only for the whip crack
were taboo meets reality and at least
the orgasmic, adrenaline rush of pain is real.
depravity or reality, true love or kink
what would you decide.
decisions decisions, what a choice.
am I depraved ?