If This Is Life...

All these thoughts
race through my head
as I go see Dad
in a hospital bed
off to the city,
sights to see
and I feel like
I just can't breathe

and from the entrance
we ascend
to park in our
desired pen
though technically
we're still outside
I feel this urge
to run and hide

corralled like cattle
I'm enraged
these social constructs
are a cage
confusing signs
that line the walls
have left me feeling
two foot small

I finally get
to where he's held
I can't avoid it
there's that smell
it's sparkling,
lemon-scented death
and I can barely
catch my breath

poor Dad, he's here
all busted up
but I've already
had enough
I don't want him
to be alone
but I'm so far
away from home

I just can't deal
I must escape
but I'm just going to
have to wait
run to the bathroom
past the bunch
and I smell what
they had for lunch

they sent him off
for surgery
I know he'll be
expecting me
it's times like these
I must be strong
and hope this shit
don't take too long

now all these thoughts
race through my head
is he alive,
or is he dead?
I find it very
hard to breathe
this waiting room
is hell for me

at least I have
some cash on me
I go and grab
a bite to eat
for just a moment,
I forget
about that
lemon-scented death

insert my headphones
and ascend
'til I'm above
this concrete pen
and technically
I'm now outside
but I still want
to run and hide

the beast inside me
boils with rage
can't function in
society's cage
minds trapped like rats
within these walls
I want to just
destroy it all

to live this way
it must be hell
all these unnatural
sights and smells
these angles poke me
in my eye
if this is life,
just let me die