deepundergroundpoetry.com
Psychoticia
slip inside my mind
& see through eyes of rage
it burns brighter
than all the colors
in my sight
my vision blurs
& nothing becomes
something
paranoia rage's best friend
is there painting a solid picture
from smoke
sanity
paranoia's enemy
calls incessantly
the phone rings off the hook
the sanity police
come to round paranoia up
& rage jumps into action
who are they to call me delusional?
the they & them's of the world
with their sterile
lobotomized thinking
will never straight jacket my thoughts
I spit my malice
it stings the face of sanity
burns it down
my acidic thinking
screams
"burn baby burn"
I inject them with visions
their eyes blur
they see
here rage is Queen
on the outskirts
of rationality
you will know me
Copyright © 2017 Crimsin. All Rights Reserved
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 16
reading list entries 2
comments 30
reads 990
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Psychoticia
27th Nov 2017 7:36pm
you just set roy g biv on fire with that opening line.
no smoke without fire ...except for dry ice
"the they & them's of the world
with their sterile
lobotomized thinking
will never straight jacket my thoughts" - bring on the Malcolm McDowell ultra violence eye holders
i love the word lobotomized.
"inject them with visions" - this opens the mind to infinite possibilities of torture and terror...beautiful.
well penned Crim. fantastic writing.
for an honest critique i would say the weakest line is
"my vision blurs
& nothing becomes
something "
it's possibly a bit too vague but from an authors standpoint sometimes it's the most vague lines that we built the whole damn poem around in the first place lol.
so keep it, chop it,put it on a shelf and shop it hahaha.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf33ueRXMzQ
no smoke without fire ...except for dry ice
"the they & them's of the world
with their sterile
lobotomized thinking
will never straight jacket my thoughts" - bring on the Malcolm McDowell ultra violence eye holders
i love the word lobotomized.
"inject them with visions" - this opens the mind to infinite possibilities of torture and terror...beautiful.
well penned Crim. fantastic writing.
for an honest critique i would say the weakest line is
"my vision blurs
& nothing becomes
something "
it's possibly a bit too vague but from an authors standpoint sometimes it's the most vague lines that we built the whole damn poem around in the first place lol.
so keep it, chop it,put it on a shelf and shop it hahaha.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf33ueRXMzQ
2
Re: Re. Psychoticia
27th Nov 2017 7:41pm
thank you dearest Samuel for such an honest & fantastic critique.. I absolutely love that :)
nothing becomes something I see the vagueness in this.. for explanation it is when my so called delusions materialize into something real..
I cherish your thoughts..
love Crim
nothing becomes something I see the vagueness in this.. for explanation it is when my so called delusions materialize into something real..
I cherish your thoughts..
love Crim
Re: Re. Psychoticia
27th Nov 2017 7:59pm
"delusions materialize" sounds epic for the record, or even the next poems name.
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
27th Nov 2017 8:01pm
giggles thank you dearest Samuel i'll see what I can do.. great idea :)
love Crim
love Crim
Re. Psychoticia
27th Nov 2017 8:27pm
Well..Samael here said everything perfect here!
Your lines are so graciously beautiful..!
"the sanity police
come to round paranoia up
& rage jumps into action
who are they to call me delusional?"
full of action and character..
Love and admirations
H
Your lines are so graciously beautiful..!
"the sanity police
come to round paranoia up
& rage jumps into action
who are they to call me delusional?"
full of action and character..
Love and admirations
H
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
27th Nov 2017 8:28pm
Re. Psychoticia
Anonymous
27th Nov 2017 8:33pm
Yeah, after reading the above comments, there's not much of value I can add to the collection of comments. But I love the strength and fuck you power of this write. They cannot label or cage you or your voice in the least, my beautiful Dark Angel. Hit them with the fire, beautiful. I do so love you
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
27th Nov 2017 8:34pm
thank you lovely one I cherish the fiercely beautiful comment you gifted me :)
I love you..
Crim
I love you..
Crim
Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 00:07am
Just paste this over the "Beware of Dog" sign, for it definitely has more fear factor to it.
Fearless write for sure and an enjoyed read.
Teri
Fearless write for sure and an enjoyed read.
Teri
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 6:53pm
giggles thank you beautiful Teri
i'm happy this write had
the desired affect :)
love Crim
i'm happy this write had
the desired affect :)
love Crim
Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 00:37am
Here are the words of value I can add :-) (LOL) - I got such enjoyment reading this masterpiece :-)
Excellent disturbing ink - loved it - Big Hugs :-)
Excellent disturbing ink - loved it - Big Hugs :-)
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 6:54pm
thank you dearest David
i'm so happy you enjoyed
my bit of madness :)
love & hugs..
Brenda
i'm so happy you enjoyed
my bit of madness :)
love & hugs..
Brenda
Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 2:02am
This is caustic, move over, hcl ,
'my acidic thinking
screams
"burn baby burn" '
I love it, and the ending gave me chills, loved that too...
'my acidic thinking
screams
"burn baby burn" '
I love it, and the ending gave me chills, loved that too...
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 6:54pm
Re. Psychoticia
Anonymous
28th Nov 2017 3:31am
The imagery was vivid and edgy, very chilling. I really enjoyed how well you executed your thoughts
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 6:55pm
Anonymous
- Edited 30th Jan 2023 2:45pm
28th Nov 2017 3:32am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 6:56pm
thank you beautiful one
did I ever tell you
how much I love
seeing you on my pages
you are gifted in sight :)
love you..
Crim
did I ever tell you
how much I love
seeing you on my pages
you are gifted in sight :)
love you..
Crim
Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 6:13am
crimsiiin ! don't hurt em, defiant as ever, I feel u, sometimes u just wanna AHHHH!, still crim de la crim...
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 6:58pm
thank you dearest Dean
don't worry it's only a metaphorical pain
I won't hurt um :)
so happy to see you back my friend..
love Crim
don't worry it's only a metaphorical pain
I won't hurt um :)
so happy to see you back my friend..
love Crim
Re. Psychoticia
Anonymous
28th Nov 2017 6:59am
my vision blurs
& nothing becomes
something
Wicked write beautiful. Your wording kept me hooked. I'm so fng happy you write on here. You keep me wanting more.
B
& nothing becomes
something
Wicked write beautiful. Your wording kept me hooked. I'm so fng happy you write on here. You keep me wanting more.
B
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 6:59pm
aw thank you beautiful Lady B
you gifted me the warmest smile
with your loving comment
as I am blessed with your writes & presence..
love Crim
you gifted me the warmest smile
with your loving comment
as I am blessed with your writes & presence..
love Crim
Re. Psychoticia
Wow...Paranoia n rage sounds like associates of my Bullshit character n series lol...
Loved this Crim...
Loved this Crim...
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 7:00pm
thank you dearest Poe
yes I love personalizing emotions
& things too :)
love Crim
yes I love personalizing emotions
& things too :)
love Crim
Re. Psychoticia
Anonymous
28th Nov 2017 7:51pm
Truly an amazing piece of work here!! Every single word chosen perfectly!! LOVED IT ENTIRELY!!
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
28th Nov 2017 10:10pm
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Sep 2020 1:45pm
28th Nov 2017 10:30pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Psychoticia
29th Nov 2017 4:08pm
thank you graciously dearest John.. I guess that lines is describing a period in my life where my paranoia was so strong that my demons were made real conjured from nothing but smoke.. I hope that helps it's a real tricky thing to describe more of a thing you would have to live..
love Brenda
love Brenda
Re. Psychoticia
29th Nov 2017 7:37am
Awesome poetry friend 😁
It’s always the people who think outside the box that are viewed as crazy. I believe they are the ones who truly live in reality.
🤗
It’s always the people who think outside the box that are viewed as crazy. I believe they are the ones who truly live in reality.
🤗
1
Re: Re. Psychoticia
29th Nov 2017 4:08pm