Rooted

Ok....
Heres how it goes let me try to explain.....
Another homie stopped by trying to give his final good byes today...
As if he was entitled to deside when we no longer required his presence in our lives since he had taught us a little more faith in humanity.
 That ain't how this shit works.

 You see there aint to many motherfuckers i give a fuck about  if they live to breath another day much less if it's my air they use.
But those few who have become part of the plantation in my small gated garden are forever rooted there.
 you don't get to one day uproot as if in doing so won't leave yet another hole in my soil.
And just a little fyi...
 There aint a whole lot of real left out there we're all we got, me and my little white dog cj. Just trying to hold on to a sense of  reality. And minor mortality.
 It feels like im going insane
Confined between these four fucking walls my heart beat is like a clip from a fully automatic  being unload right by my ears Almost feels loud enough to split my cranium and start that sprattic ringing from the inside out .
 I inhale with shaky lungs and exhale through congested nasel holes Trying to maintain control over my inpulsive nerves and stir crazed ways. Iching for something dangerously close to life threatening to remind me im still alive not just a corpse with a pulse ...