deepundergroundpoetry.com
Hollow Boned Monotone
You bought into the wrong town ; Miss Albatross
rolling through grass
to strip off any clinging moss
Now I look in the world
it's simply sketches
when I keep my feathers furled
Pen me one more swan song
Miss, implant something of token worth
Here
catch me while my wings are curled
You curdle sucralose dreams dear
trimming love into something
deep to fear
Blossoms bending
snipped down at night
grinding grace in the mud
Flights
clipped like rotting buds
unstringing our fickle kites
rolling through grass
to strip off any clinging moss
Now I look in the world
it's simply sketches
when I keep my feathers furled
Pen me one more swan song
Miss, implant something of token worth
Here
catch me while my wings are curled
You curdle sucralose dreams dear
trimming love into something
deep to fear
Blossoms bending
snipped down at night
grinding grace in the mud
Flights
clipped like rotting buds
unstringing our fickle kites
Published 25th Nov 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 9
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The author encourages honest critique.
25th Nov 2017 2:01pm
25th Nov 2017 2:19pm
I like the clinging moss being striped
new world takes me to sailing wooden ships crossing the ocean
cross hatching sketches
feathers furled i kind of imagine someone shaking you lol
playful swan imagery like Hans Christian Andersen
fake sugar dreams fearful of love
i can see someone bending the rose stem until it breaks
forcefully taken
they came in the night
"unstringing our fickle kites" - changing hands at a moments notice is what life does best,ain't it a bitch lol.
this had good form and breaks at the right times ,splendid write.
new world takes me to sailing wooden ships crossing the ocean
cross hatching sketches
feathers furled i kind of imagine someone shaking you lol
playful swan imagery like Hans Christian Andersen
fake sugar dreams fearful of love
i can see someone bending the rose stem until it breaks
forcefully taken
they came in the night
"unstringing our fickle kites" - changing hands at a moments notice is what life does best,ain't it a bitch lol.
this had good form and breaks at the right times ,splendid write.
25th Nov 2017 6:25pm
25th Nov 2017 6:51pm
it sometimes gets difficult to know what to say without repeating myself or sounding like a suckass :-)
But I loved this :-))))))
But I loved this :-))))))
25th Nov 2017 6:53pm
Thank you friends, I wrote this a few months ago and forgot about it :)
HCA is such an evocative writer, swans are a beautiful topic for subject matter!
HCA is such an evocative writer, swans are a beautiful topic for subject matter!
8th Dec 2017 4:50am
"You curdle sucralose dreams dear
trimming love into something
deep to fear
Blossoms bending
snipped down at night
grinding grace in the mud
Flights
clipped like rotting buds
unstringing our fickle kites"
There is so much going on here!!! At first I was like, "what did I just read?" But by the end I was like woah... that's pretty deep. The language is also really pretty. I honestly think this is about how reality doesn't live up to our expectations, that the things we thought were wonderful turn out to be lies, like sucralose. And we are the dying flowers, and our philosophies are fickle kites.
trimming love into something
deep to fear
Blossoms bending
snipped down at night
grinding grace in the mud
Flights
clipped like rotting buds
unstringing our fickle kites"
There is so much going on here!!! At first I was like, "what did I just read?" But by the end I was like woah... that's pretty deep. The language is also really pretty. I honestly think this is about how reality doesn't live up to our expectations, that the things we thought were wonderful turn out to be lies, like sucralose. And we are the dying flowers, and our philosophies are fickle kites.
8th Dec 2017 6:28am
Holy crap dude, yes!!! :) Thank you so much! It's hard to express things in normal conversation, it needs to be something beyond that for me to try to convey it.
8th Dec 2017 9:08am
Hello, my band are looking for new lyrics for songs. Really like your style and wondered if we could use this poem? Also, if you have any more lyrics or would like to write for the band? Thanks jonathan (www.hoopdriver.co.uk)
8th Dec 2017 8:02pm
Yes, let's talk! I can probably write more, although I don't particularly focus on lyrics, I just write. Maybe some of my stuff could be adapted to music, because I tend to lightly rhyme/consonate, let me know if anything else grabs you. I'll check out your band :) I'm pretty busy lately, my production has dropped off in the last week or so badly! Thank you so much!
