deepundergroundpoetry.com
It's Been a Hard Year
Days all melt together... all the same. I am so sad and I don't know why. It's random... One moment I feel happy and then a switch goes off and all I want to do was crawl into bed. One minute I feel fine, then the next it's like I'm dying. Not even things that once made me happy work anymore. I feel awful, and of course I just tell people, but it's awkward for them, so they don't check up on me. Everyday gets worse. Why is everyone so quick to assume you're better?! I AM NOT BETTER. But no one cares. I am not good enough for anything I love... no one sees any potential... so I must have none. Can no one to hear me? I AM SCREAMING WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BODY! Does a fake smile and an "I'm fine" really conceal all the cracks in my foundation, or are people just too afraid to ask? All of my dreams have been ripped away from me. I wished for such simple things none made a reality, so here I am more broken than ever grieving for those dreams, the friends I have lost, and the dead young girl who lies just behind my eyes.
Published 5th Nov 2017
| Edited 28th Mar 2018
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8th Nov 2017 5:56pm
I feel this write, I live it. It's hard when your world turns upside down, for whatever reason. We have to walk around like we are better because people expect us to be better. They need us to be better because then they do not have to be concerned. No one can put a timeline on grief. Nobody can tell us how to start feeling better. We just have to keep getting up everyday and try to make it. It is completely ok to feel what you are feeling. I think many of us do. Keep trying. You will find your way out of the dark.
28th Mar 2018 00:27am
Lyla, I know this feeling all too well. Many of your descriptions point to depression and for that you can get help. I was just speaking with a friend about this and she said she had to just start "dating herself," essentially concentrate on loving yourself and doing everything to be the best Lyla. You are the only one of you in the universe and that uniqueness deserves to be celebrated. Brava!
2nd Aug 2021 2:35am
This helplessness
An awful place to be in
There are always those with ears ears to hear the voices of those who need to be heard
Just keep looking for that empathetic heart whether in a place that is spiritual or any other way of uplifting the wellbeing
An awful place to be in
There are always those with ears ears to hear the voices of those who need to be heard
Just keep looking for that empathetic heart whether in a place that is spiritual or any other way of uplifting the wellbeing
