deepundergroundpoetry.com
nothing
I wake up in a bed.
I see nothing but darkness.
I smell nothing but my own vomit and the alcohol still lingering on his breath.
I feel nothing.
I feel nothing but his lips.
I feel nothing but his hands.
I feel nothing but his tongue.
I feel nothing but his teeth.
I feel . . . nothing.
I see curly hair.
I see bare shoulders.
I feel nothing.
I taste chewing tobacco.
I taste captain morgan.
I feel nothing.
I see his chest.
I see myself being pulled on top of him.
I feel nothing. I feel nothing. I feel nothing.
I see his eyes. I smell his sweat. I cannot move.
I feel nothing.
I am rolled onto my back.
I scratch and bite til I see blood.
He bends my wrists but I feel nothing.
I feel nothing.
I get the strength to turn around.
I am pulled back.
I feel nothing.
I fall asleep.
I am nothing.
I see nothing but darkness.
I smell nothing but my own vomit and the alcohol still lingering on his breath.
I feel nothing.
I feel nothing but his lips.
I feel nothing but his hands.
I feel nothing but his tongue.
I feel nothing but his teeth.
I feel . . . nothing.
I see curly hair.
I see bare shoulders.
I feel nothing.
I taste chewing tobacco.
I taste captain morgan.
I feel nothing.
I see his chest.
I see myself being pulled on top of him.
I feel nothing. I feel nothing. I feel nothing.
I see his eyes. I smell his sweat. I cannot move.
I feel nothing.
I am rolled onto my back.
I scratch and bite til I see blood.
He bends my wrists but I feel nothing.
I feel nothing.
I get the strength to turn around.
I am pulled back.
I feel nothing.
I fall asleep.
I am nothing.
Published 2nd Nov 2017
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2nd Nov 2017 3:58pm
A sad piece of what to many women have gone through. It's a strong piece that places the reader along side the speaker in a helpless situation of what is.
As a poem goes in my opinion there is room for a little cleaning up. I like the idea of "I feel nothing" but with two much "I..." takes away from the impact of feeling nothing. It also comes across as a bit telling. Poetry should first before anything else be about showing the reader something even if that image is hard to see.
As a poem goes in my opinion there is room for a little cleaning up. I like the idea of "I feel nothing" but with two much "I..." takes away from the impact of feeling nothing. It also comes across as a bit telling. Poetry should first before anything else be about showing the reader something even if that image is hard to see.
