deepundergroundpoetry.com
Hurricane
Sheets of soft hair,
fall like rain.
Electrifying eyes,
strike fear into me again.
Flooded with emotions,
lust, betrayal, and pain.
The memories flood in again,
I wish it would go away.
My confidence,
taken by the wind.
Strongas a storm,
her breath blows me away
And she kills me slowly,
just like a hurricane.
fall like rain.
Electrifying eyes,
strike fear into me again.
Flooded with emotions,
lust, betrayal, and pain.
The memories flood in again,
I wish it would go away.
My confidence,
taken by the wind.
Strongas a storm,
her breath blows me away
And she kills me slowly,
just like a hurricane.
Published 16th Sep 2011
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The author encourages honest critique.
I really liked this. You took the soft hair and attributed it to rain, which I thought was a good comparison. I have never heard hair compared to rain, but it worked for me.
Then the eyes, which most poets turn to in time of needful things to say. In this case the eyes were fe3arful things. I can dig that also.
I really liked your complete poem.
Then the eyes, which most poets turn to in time of needful things to say. In this case the eyes were fe3arful things. I can dig that also.
I really liked your complete poem.
17th Sep 2011 2:15am
