Penitent

Read this knowing that I love you  
understand that I am sorry  
realize that I mean it this time  
even though  
I have said it before  
 
my heart is heavy thinking about the way I mistreated you  
I never knew I was capable of generating such pain  
I never meant to hurt you  
or derive you of your innocence  
I feel guilty, I do  
because you sacrificed every single day for my happiness  
you held me as my mind screamed for you to let go  
but my body lay devoted in your arms  
 
truth be told, I was confused  
I do not regret  
regret is a perception of fault  
I did what I felt was needed for myself  
I still believe it was the right thing to do  
 
but I am at fault for breaking your heart  
you did not deserve the cruelty of my words  
the wounds from my actions
please remember that you are one of the most incredible people
that I have ever met
you are the sun
you are the stars
you are the rain
and you will be all these
in someone else's universe one day  
 
I'm sorry  
you are still in my thoughts  
you are still in my prayers  
pressed down  
shaken together  
and running over  
 
I love you