Mechanical God

Mister Minister  
 
Can you assist me?  
You see...  
I'm burnin  
With sin  
I try to drown it in  
Pints of gin  
But that only makes this lustful fire  
Burn even higher  
Can you help me...  
Before it starts again?  
 
Mister Minister...  
 
See..I thought I came here to here to seek refuge  
But I'm a little confused...  
Am I at church or still out clubbin?  
Cuz I swear some of these women are dressed like  
They been out all night rubbin on dicks  
Dubbin to Reggae and hip-hop  
Makin that ass drop and that coochie pop....
Damn....did they ever stop to think  
Maybe they took it a little too far  
Misinterpreting the meanin of 'cum as you are' [ahem..come]  
Makin my dick rise when all I came here for was some  
Fellowship and praise...  
Lord knows I need some help  
 
Mister Minister...  
 
I tried to listen to your point of view  
But as I look around in the pew and the choir  
All I see is a bunch of hypocrites and liars  
Mired in endless gossip and rumors  
But the real humor in all this  
Stems from the fact that I done  
Seen some of these holier-than-thou whores  
Perform miracles behind closed doors  
Speakin in tongues  
Hungover from body shakin orgasmic revelations  
Goin from 'Oh God' mixed with late night curses  
To 'Yass Lawd' seasoned in their Sunday mornin verses  
Act one...act two..  
Encore! encore!!  
After service I think we'll hit the liquor store  
Before I take her back to the crib to service that ass  
Some more...  
  
Mister Minister  
 
I've come for your blessings  
No!.... I'm not repenting
Just confessing
So just tap me on the head  
And tell me once again why Jesus bled  
Yep...It seems I've been redeemed  
Just cash in my sins like 5 cent bottles and cans  
Every Sunday just leave some change in your collection pan  
Cha-ching..  
Dept paid in full  
Now I'll sit here and listen to your bull  
See..game recognize game  
You've been preyin on our shame  
While we've been prayin for the Lord to keep us tame  
But it all ends up the same no?...  
Ain't no verses in that book to convince my nature not to rise  
Ain't no verses to sooth a woman  
As she squeeze a pillow between her thighs  
Who hears her midnight sighs?  
So let's all sing and praise in vain  
Knowin last night we done came in someone's mouth  
And not necessarily the one we brought with us  
To the Lord's house  
Were we really that weak?  
Or did nature speak?  
 
Ahhh who gives a fuck?...we do evidently...  
 
Mister Minister  
 
If Jesus died for our sins  
I should be able to screw without guilt yes?  
I'm still welcomed in the house the Lord built yes?  
Still blessed aren't I?  
Yeah I know...  
Six days out of the week I done fucked up...  
Acted a fool and broke nearly all the rules  
No doubt I've been a bad bad boy  
So just hit me with one of those verses  
And wind me up like a wooden toy  
Tell me if I keep praisin him  
My afterlife will be filled with bliss and joy  
Boy 'o boy do I really need to hear those words  
So please fix me up with your toolbox-bible  
Tell me in advance that I'm forgiven  
So I won't be held liable for all the shit I know I'm  
Gonna do from Monday through Saturday  
 
Thank you Mister Minister...thank you  
And God bless...