deepundergroundpoetry.com
Silence
Why is this silence so heavy
So dark and potent
Weighing down
Anxious venom coursing through my veins
The car doors close in , knees to chest ready to kick
The take over the break over fills the silence
I fumble and they mumble incoherently
Side conversations I have no part in
No invite to a say
Do they remember I'm here, do they even hear me as I muffle my breathing
Nervously picking my finger tips
Anxiously biting my lower lips
My breath quickens
Excluded and omit
I sink lower and lower into the back seat
It been such a long, long time since I've felt so invisible
Tongue swelling with unspoken words, I think I might choke.
*just awkwardly sitting in the backseat as my friends leave me feeling anxious and excluded. Fun times, I'm having such a great time. Fuck I'm so cranky and should have stayed home.
So dark and potent
Weighing down
Anxious venom coursing through my veins
The car doors close in , knees to chest ready to kick
The take over the break over fills the silence
I fumble and they mumble incoherently
Side conversations I have no part in
No invite to a say
Do they remember I'm here, do they even hear me as I muffle my breathing
Nervously picking my finger tips
Anxiously biting my lower lips
My breath quickens
Excluded and omit
I sink lower and lower into the back seat
It been such a long, long time since I've felt so invisible
Tongue swelling with unspoken words, I think I might choke.
*just awkwardly sitting in the backseat as my friends leave me feeling anxious and excluded. Fun times, I'm having such a great time. Fuck I'm so cranky and should have stayed home.
Published 11th Oct 2017
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likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 5
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Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
11th Oct 2017 6:28am
12th Oct 2017 2:03am
I liked it! I think it represents situations that we all have been in. However, as friendly feedback, I also think that such situations, to an outside observer, exhibit humor and silliness along with the psychological drama of those involved. So, here is my suggestion: Including - in poetic form - your footnote, (that contains comic elements), in the poem will make it more realistic.
14th Oct 2017 11:13am
15th Oct 2017 1:05pm
Great situational Imagery. Raw and uncut, very descriptive. I like the metaphor.
15th Oct 2017 7:46pm
I can relate to invisibility... people can be such inconsiderate idiots!
Well said!
JJ
Well said!
JJ
