No Longer a Person of Particular Intrest

Oh I'm filthy in my own misery
Wading through the waves of a very shallow grave
Defying feats of my own death
A mortals dream
Or just a fantasy
I don't know, but nevertheless
I'm trying to find my place
In a world lacking flavor in which I can taste
So no one can save me from me
Not in a single breath
So don't waste your time
Or give me your sympathy
I'm already knee deep drowning in my own pity
So hush, and save your fraudulent tears for someone else
I know they're more hollow, then they are empty
So don't play me your melancholy baby
Just open the flood gates
So I can sink below, never to resurface
As I'm not saving any space for future fates
I'll argue my own habeas corpus
Pay the lip service
But I won't hesitate, it's not up for debate
As I'm no longer a person of particular interest
In this on going case
When everything I am, isn't worth the effort of staking claim
When the secondary flesh below the epidermis
Is just another skin game
But tell me, what would it take
To really make a change
Without a single thing left to invest
Being pulled down below the surface
Head first towards the drain
I know there's no one to blame
A fish out of water caught in his own net again
I may be a Pisces
But I'm no fool, or reprobate
I've seen every hook, line and sinker
I'm no beginner
But this time I'm being used as the bait
So I'm cutting my lines of waste
To extend for more time
Into the holy land of grace
Where I'll find somewhere safe to wait
In total darkness and out of sight
A righteous man
Disguised in his own selfish pride
To vain to step into the light
In such a damaged physiological state  
So I'm burning all my sins in flames
By day and ever other binge
Even with my love soft and gently blended out then in
I still don't know where I start
Or where I'll end
I just know I can't underestimate the low mortality rate
For never stepping in
But I stopped keeping the score
In such a dangerous game
Off and on my black and white checkered past
So go ahead it's your turn, explore
I can wait
But honestly, there's no place for me to segregate
When every peaceful looking space is just another war
That leads me to another wrath
So go ahead pick my brain
Every inch of it
Till it's profusely bleeding from it's core
And the tiny droplets turn into pools that protest to conjugate
The whole things very intimidating as it concentrates
But I've looked death straight in the face
From the inside
A small glimpse of reality, at least a million molecules at a time
Still it's playing deaf, dumb and blind
So I'll continue to search for some sort of gravity
Encompassed by this bottomless pit
Cuz I'm finding it's nothing more than a bittersweet life
And I'm not having any of it
But relentlessly it never quits
So I'll leave my emotions there to cry
Letting their tears turn to dust and blow away dry
One last time
Ignoring their truth while listening to them pray
Like little lambs preparing to be slain
In a ritualistic sacrifice
And every single time they beg me to stay
I'll ignore them, and just walk away
Because it's to late
I'll rip this heart out
Then stomp it into the ground
Burn it till it's nothing but ash
Because I'm weak
And I can't stand to feel it anymore
Even if it's sounds like I'm making a big mistake
Love is too much for me to afford
As luck would have it
I need to escape it's tumultuous hold
Or I'll lose more than my heart
I'll lose my mind and body
Then my soul