The Meth Diaries

 
I believe Meth is a conduit
a connection to alien beings
it allows you to reach space
touch the ether
communicate mind to mind
 
I think that's why it's illegal
the government doesn't want super humans
this could be argued as delusional
I could really care less
I relish the powers I possess while high
 
a mind change
snort a line & I am super woman
deities talk to me
they whisper secrets of the universe
my imagination opens up
the mudane muddied windows of thought
become pristine portals I can view through
 
I say I want to quit using
but really I just don't want to get caught
don't want to let people down
I believe if they could just understand
what it's like to be me they would accept it
 
today is day two without using
& i'm going to drink some whiskey
which to a meth user  
is like Narcane to a heroin addict
i'm coming down  
& the whiskey will add to that feeling
 
if this seems all over the place it is
my emotions have been all over today
up & down an emotional rollercoaster
 
I want it but told my friend I was quitting
he is holding me to it
so I can't get any
I know I can chase it down
i'm trying to avoid that
I hate feeling desperate it reeks
 
i've yet to become a Meth whore
& don't plan on ever being one
we'll see what happens
i'm at the point of rationalizing my drug use
a little depressed
it's a mind game
a mind fuck