Smoke Out

I broke my headphones.

Usually I walk to where I need to go
I can't stand the car where it's crowded and loud
with parents and sibling
and questions I don't want to answer
and escapes I can't take.

I broke my fucking headphones.

Usually I walk where I need to go.
Headphones in.
Head down. Or up, if I'm feeling defiant.
Music loud enough to drown out my head
and it calms me down enough for the day.

But I broke my fucking headphones.

And now my head's a battleground
thoughts like bees screaming RIOT RIOT
stinging and burning without my music-smoke.
Take the pain until they're all dead.
Pills to numb my fucking head.

I broke my god damn headphones.

And there's no hope for me.